Back East

It's been a long time since I last posted here and the last post was sort of out of sequence. Let's get back in sequence. S wanted to move back east to be closer to her family. I really didn't feel like I was getting very far in the University. There seemed to be no continuity from year to year. I came back east looking for a new job and one came up in Connecticut. I took a job directing a Church Summer camp and also being a priest at a small church. Little did I know that the combination would be so much work.

The Camp was supposed to be a Summer position, except for hiring and I would do the parish the rest of the year. When we moved back I had to almost immediately start the camp. I worked with the previous director and S and my son lived at camp. We had to live in make-shift accommodations because the previous director was living in the Director's house. It was hell for S. I loved the camp work but things were very difficult for her with the baby. I also had to start at the parish and they wanted me to do services every Sunday. It was very difficult doing Sundays and the camp at the same time. The stress that Summer was great. There was no opportunity to cross-dress, but I continued taking hormones. S didn't know of either the crossdressing or the hormones and I wouldn't admit to my self what that was all about. The biggest deception is self deception. By the end of the Summer the strain between S and I was very great. I was thinking about divorce because she complained all the time.

Fortunately things got better when we moved back to the house and the work at the church began. There was more a sense of normalcy for all of us. The summer was telling though. I went to the Dr. for a check up and found that my blood pressure was elevated for the first time. I was put on diuretic and frequent trips to the Dr. I had mostly been healthy and I didn't feel bad. I did worry though that so many visits to the Dr. would reveal my secret of hormone use. By this time I had distinct breasts after a couple of years of hormone use. I would take estrogen for a while and then stop for a while. I worried that my breasts would get so large that S would notice and I also worried that sexual function would stop. I continued this way for a while.

Eventually it got harder and harder to get the hormones. In Kansas it was easy to forge prescriptions. Doctors at the University of Kansas changed frequently and weren't well known to the pharmacists in Lawrence. Back east the pharmacists knew the local Doctors. I became afraid that I would be caught forging prescriptions and eventually stopped.

The church was no bed of roses it turned out. I had been preceded by an alcoholic who had done great damage to the church. It also turned out that he had been a pedophile. I am not sure whether the Bishop ever knew about the abuse of boys. It was a very sad thing and the damage had been done. I had my hands full trying to rebuild things. I would struggle with that congregation for 5 years eventually.

Enough for now. Next time I restart hormones and crossdressing of course. Bye for now.

Love,
Shel